I’m forever blowing…dude, bro, that song is gay

By: AlexG | July 21st, 2008

$\"No injuries were reported.\" -SI.com$ It is obviously an extremely opportune time to take over the West Ham United blog considering yesterday’s violence but I suppose one can’t choose when to make wordpress cooperate. In any case, my name’s Alex and I’ll be taking over as the most influential blogger covering the less influential but equally glorious West Ham.

We’ll start off with the “hooliganism.” My guess is that about 1% of the claret and blue-clad at the match were, in fact, true West Ham supporters. It’s shocking, I know, that so few of the East London faithful were unwilling to make the arduous journey to the middle of fucking nowhere, USA, to see what is basically a glorified preseason friendly.

Having graduated from university in the states, I feel that I can adequately describe these fake supporters. Most were of university age, ranging from 18 to 28 in Ohio, and most were likely members of a fraternity. They had either finished a three week study abroad program in London and ‘picked’ West Ham as thier club or they were simply wankers, using ‘dude’ or ‘bro’ in every sentence.

Taking advantage of liquor sales within the stadium, they got a bit sauced up and decided to prove that despite being chronically unable to satisfy women they could indeed demonstrate their manliness in a stadium. They probably pitied the poor Crew supporters who didn’t even know that West Ham are a London club, obviously because the Crew supporters hadn’t studied abroad in London, and decided to pick a fight because of it. I don’t know why they picked our club really, I must assume then that the University of East London has low admission standards for study abroad. They probably don’t know who Paolo Di Canio is and would hate that our anthem has the word ‘blowing’ in it, because that is so homo, bro.

In terms of the actual match, though, all was well., having won 3-1. Deano was on form to score at 6 minutes and had some great chances in the one half he played. Julien Faubert seemed alright and Bellamy apparently is still quick as ever. Next up is the MLS All-Star match.

And if you haven’t already, read Laurie’s article on the “hooliganism.” A good read for sure.

Coming up: All-Star preview, the Behrami transfer saga, and the state of the Hammers XI.